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It really stings inside.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
You're doing this again? Why is it that you don't want to talk to me and be that girl who used to lie on my shoulders now? I've tried so many different ways to salvage and recreate happy moments but all in vain. I really am speechless now. Its really a shame to see what's happening now. Somehow I feel that, if it was him that you were talking to, the words spoken would have been different, the tone used would have shown a different emotion, the treatment given wouldn't be the same as this. What have I become? A stranger? A tool? Disposable? Have I become the toy that a kid would put aside to never touch again because something better came along and gained more attention? I've tried, to not suffocate with overwhelming care and concern, to talk the way you want to listen, to be myself, to be honest and truthful, to share, to give and not expect to be rewarded. But all I wanted was to see that smile. And to have many more moments like the one I always think about now. Just me and you, in my room, close to each other, feeling the weight on my chest, knowing my arm is going numb but not wanting to say anything because you looked so comfortable in that position, feeling your warmth, so cozy.  Every nice memory I had of you flashes before my eyes when I gaze upon this picture.
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