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Wednesday, February 25, 2009
yet again. i find myself holding on to things that i don't want to. even after so much time had past. even after telling myself over and over again. the things i just coincidentally see bothers me. very much. maybe its not even about me. it could be something else. not me. i might already be part of the past. but when it comes to me, letting go ain't really a simple task. time after time it's still the same. and the things that i try to do to make it all better seem to make me feel less good about myself. i guess hoping is the best that i could do. well, one good thing of not letting go is that i still have one friendship to call it my own after it had gone through so much. but still. who do i fall back on when i need to? because the distance feels very great from how i look at it. hmm...i am thinking too much..i AM thinking too much..right..right?? so that explains why i don't like thinking.. hmm..its not about me. its not about me. its not about me. its not about me. its not about me. its not about me. its not about me. its not about me,right?? if it really isn't about me...then its good..and i should be feeling good too.. right.? i hope so.. umm..those words..even if i were to say it over and over and over again..it seems that you're mad at me inside..you know..i still have that strip of paper that you gave so long ago..cause you were someone i held on to when the distance between everyone else seem to grow further.. are you letting go? - umm..well..today's a special day for someone..someone whom i looked up to as an older brother..even if you didn't see it that way its ok with me..it'd be nice if things were the way before..cause i rather have it like those times than how they are now..i might be being selfish but i really want it..like the way it used to be.. well..i'll just continue to hope.. cause you see.. i don't really let go easily best wishes. and good luck and i wish..that you would never ever have to feel down and just frown at everything that you face from today.. - i guess this is where it would come..so..... open your eyes big big and smile..smile at everything like an idiot..and smile like you never smiled before.. even though its only momentary..its better to make that few seconds worth while.right? buwaais.. [my behind ain't complaining this time around..i guess its just too numb]
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