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monday blues...same on tuesday...
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
lesson were like usual... mostly boring...slept like usual... yesterday...asked..said..alot of stuff...i regret saying those stuff now...but you said that i could confirm my doubts with you...then why still leave the conversation hanging there...like you always do...guess all you want to do is just 'listen' 'he just don understand' that really broke my heart...and wats more painful is wat you said after that...then why did you say its more because of yourself..?? ...it actually looks more like its because of me... yes i don understand...i never understood anything...but would you care to tell me..?? would you care to explain thing to me so that i would understand.. i find it difficult to say things in person... yet i still wanted to say it face to face...but i guess it easier to say wat you want when you don face me uh..?? well atleast i managed to sleep,after thinking about wat you said over and over again,with help of a good friend and her brother... hope.... well today was like nothing before...morning assembly was finally interesting to watch...(: went for maths...still no sub teacher for us pure e maths...today we did graphs...easy to do uh...except fot the fact that we did it without the help of a french curve...lols..then finally had cutlet after a long time...back to maths after recess..then someone say thing so loud about me one...still keep looking at me one..hai feel so demoralised now..lol..jkjk...hope that person won't sue me...or suggest again that i should go for counciling..(: AND NC SABO ME FOR SS....o_o'' slept through mt like usual...then afternoon lesson was english...KB was feeling unwell today...but not as worse as dominic...get well soon uh KB...so that you can concentrate on your DnT...and the story of sofa king was back in todays lesson..haha.. but so was the broken up feeling...now still feeling the same way...i guess i am just thinking about it too much...but how could i not stop thinking...?? ...and yes..like you said..a cry for happiness...i guess this is where i am most comfortable...this is where i can be open...and i am touched..i really am..to realise that such a friend,a close friend..is still here and not gone..not lost forever,is concern for how i feel... i just dunno how to show you how much i appereciate you...4 years...and still i dunno how to show my appereciation...so i guess here is where i can possibly show... thank you for being a wonderful friend to me..4 years..getting promoted to the same class as you each year is a the best thing that can happen...we ourselves saw...people came and they left and then new friends came in..and all that was left was the few of us who survived right from the begining...but you were someone who had similar interests as me...right from the start as innocent and immature kids till now...not so innocent and maybe still at times immature...doing things together was always fun..those things can never be forgotten...like the 15 hour dc in sec 2..(: i guess its so stupid of me to realise all this now..i dunno...is it too late to put aside all those stupid thing that i did to cause these things to happen..?? could it ever be like the old times...?? really..i really wish it can be like old times.. but pursuit for happiness...?? i hid these feeling for a very long time..and i can't stand being this way when its been trapped for so long..i wanted to say how i really feel because its hard to do the things i used to do feeling like thing and so i said how i felt...someone asked me how i could be so tolerent when i watch you trying to get closer..but its becaues i didn't know wat to do at that point of time..and i didn't want to do anything either...but now,after saying wat i had to say,i hope you won't see it as though i am being selfish or just trying to take the opportunity...because i really don want to feel like this anymore...broken up... i really hope you would understand me..?? i guess this is all i can say for now...just mostly appereciating... hope... so i guess its stupid of me after all....
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